Boy, it has been awhile since I last wrote. I have to say sorry to all of you who are following me. I found I had to take a break and continue my learning of all of this intuition stuff. Life sometimes gets in the way and then I realize when I got to the other side that guess what, I JUST LEARNED A BUNCH OF THINGS! How completely awesome is that? So let me tell you what I have learned about this thing called intuition. Because I shut it down for 40+ years, its hard to learn to trust and accept that part of me that is beginning to feel again. And not just feel, but feel the way I was designed to feel. Acceptance of myself is a huge part of this and I am still learning to accept. Not just the intuition, but the whole package. Each pound, each ache, each hurt, each emotion. Each itty bitty part of me. I have had mentors say to me, “What did you just say?” (Thank you Lori Dodson). I have a friend/mentor/teacher (AKA Lori Dodson) who wont let me stay in my crap. She calls me on it every time. EVERY SINGLE TIME!! Now some may say, Boy, that is tough. But honestly, to get to where I want to go in my life I have to face up to my insecurities, my false beliefs, my assumed insignificance. But, when I come out of the other side of accepting all of my personal crap I am truly better. I understand so much better, not only myself, but everyone that surrounds me. From family to friends, life is becoming so much easier. Now, I’m not going to lie, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I feel like punching someone in the face. But, here is the difference, when I am called out because of words I have said or actions I have done, I know it is done with complete love. Having people in my life that love me and accept me, and I know this, helps to get me thru those super hard times. There are still times when I go thru the “I’m so fat, I’m so ugly and stupid” phases. But they get smaller and smaller. I am beginning to believe in myself more and more.
This is how I have begun to process all of this. And keep in mind this is just one process that I have used. I have surrounded myself with a wonderful group of ladies who love me, no matter what. I have begun to call myself out when the negative self talk starts. Seriously, when talking to myself and I am doing the slam conversation, when I realize it (yes, it is not an automatic realization..40+ years of living this way), I literally tell myself, out loud, to STOP IT! RIGHT NOW!! Then I turn on some happy music that I can sing off key to, or a fun show or a good book. I do anything I can to put my mind in a more positive state. I also quit watching news or those crime dramas on TV. I stop listening to those people and those songs, shows, books or whatever makes me feel out of sorts. I only listen to those who have positive things to say. Uplifting things. Accepting things. Some say I’m out of touch–but I really don’t care. I’m the most important person to me. And I need to be happy. So as I progress toward complete and total acceptance of me guess what happens? I accept more of others and things. Is it really that hard? No, its simple really. Total acceptance is the key. As that happens, I then accept this intuitive gift I have. I no longer deny it. And guess what? I’m a much happier person. Sometimes it just takes a little time.
Love you all So much!!! Thank you for Reading.