My First Post 5/31/2017

How often have I said,  “Wow!  I should do that?”   “What would happen if I did this?”  “How would my life change if I did that? ”  Then never ever did anything to answer those questions.  Well, I can tell you I have waited long enough.  I am ready to begin to tell my story.  For me, some of this telling will be very emotional.  Some will be exciting and some will be life changing.  This Journey has been relatively short and intense, filled with so many teachers, mentors and friends.   It has filled my soul and gets me through each and everyday with a passion that I had no idea existed in my being.  I have learned so much about myself and what this life is for. I have learned so much that my brain is fairly exploding.  AND THAT’S A WONDERFUL THING.  So come along with me and hear my journey to Self discovery, Intuition and Acceptance of all.  I need to start at the very beginning.  Well, maybe not the very beginning.  But the beginning of my transformation.  So I will take you back a few years.

Life for me was very typical for many people.  I got married, had 3 children, had a best friend, husband of many years, awesome neighbors and a life that to the outside world seemed pretty idyllic.  My children were good kids.  They got great grades in school, were active in many activities and had no real problems with drugs or alcohol.  My husband is a great guy who is a terrific husband and a wonderful Dad, and a perfect provider.  My best girlfriend was my rock.  She was the one that I could depend on and was there for me when i went into a meltdown.  My outside persona was one of independence.  I was always the Parent Volunteer and willing to help out whenever and wherever I was needed.  Everyone thought I had it completely together, and that my life was absolutely perfect.  However, inside I was dying a slow death.  I honestly did not have any idea as to who I was or what in the world I was doing upon this earth.   Self Sabotage, no self confidence, no joy or laughter, feeling unworthy or insignificant.  All of these feelings were flooding into my brain.  All the negative things that I told myself because that is the only thing I knew how to do.  I truly believed that this was the best that I could hope for.  Sadness, Insignificance, and self loathing were the ticket for each day. Each day a struggle, I would smile and get thru the day and after everyone was in bed would sit and sob.  Only myself to hear my internal thoughts and struggles.   Then the world began to cave in and I began a miraculous journey.

 

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