Perfection

Am I perfect? Not even a little bit. There are so many things that I am nonperfect in and of. And that in itself, is perfect for me. As I go through this Journey that I have been on and will continue to be on, I am coming to accept that imperfection in myself. There are so many things I want to say, to explore and to understand. As I sit here at my computer asking God, what am I supposed to write about today, I just let my fingers rest on the keyboard and let the fingers fly.  My hope is that these rambling thoughts of mine will make perfect sense. Because, after all, perfect sense is what we all strive for, isn’t it? And for me that was, for so long, an absolute need. To make perfect sense. This was one of my core beliefs, that everything had to make perfect sense. Now I look back on this and say to myself, how crazy is that? Did it make perfect sense that a woman known for her intuitive abilities lead me to The Law of Attraction? Did it make sense that a trinket purchased in a Christian book store lead me to another life changing woman? The answer of course was no! It did not! But the acceptance of those imperfect moments and the future imperfect moments have shaped my new life and will continue to shape my life. Do I do everything perfectly. Absolutely not. My house is usually cluttered, and it drives my awesome husband bonkers, but he accepts that in me. I love to meet up with people and hear their stories. I was telling my mom the other day that total strangers will come up to me in stores or on the street and tell me their life stories. She thought I was a little bit off. Then it happened in front of her and she said…” wow”. But seriously, how perfect is that? I have grown to accept that part of me that people seem to trust. I am growing to accept me and my imperfections. Actually, I am growing to love me and my imperfections. That is what makes me, ME! So, the acceptance of the perfectly imperfect me is coming along, and with it a trust in my own gifts, my own intuitive gifts. Gifts that I have been blessed with, hungered for, ignored. All because I did not understand that imperfection was the perfect plan for me.
I did not come to this realization by myself. It has taken many tears. Not wanting to believe what was right in front of me. Wanting to stay in the comfort zone of this is what I have always known, therefore it is. It has taken a tribe of people. An awesome tribe. Some I still have contact with on a daily basis, some I don’t. That does not make any of those people any less important. Some I only saw one time. Some many times. Some I went through workshops with, some were one on one. The point is that I have stayed the course. I knew I was not going in the direction that was healthy for me. I had to do something. I was not the perfect person everyone thought I was, and it was killing me. Slowly!! And no one saw the slow burning death of me. No one saw me. All they saw was this very outgoing person who was always the go to person. The one who could get things done perfectly. The one who always said, YES! Because that is what made me the perfect person. And now, I embrace the fact that I am so far from perfect that it scares me sometimes. But I absolutely adore the new imperfectly perfect me. I embrace it, I roll around in it. I AM ME. PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!!

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